What is the penalty for divorce as a Jehovah Witness?
I have a friend who is a witness and she is very unhappy in her marriage. She doesn'rt love her husband but she is afraid of "disappointing Jehovah". Can somebody shed some light on this?
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one should only divorce if they are being abused or the marriage mate is unfaithful. the one that is not cheating decides to divorce or forgive.
Unless your wife or husband is unfaithful it is adultery to divorce them i think, however their might be more to it than tht. But although Jehovas witnesses are nice people, It isnt the way to go if your searching for god, i would recomend a nice baptist church. God bless you
The congregation takes no action.
However, if the divorce is not scriptural, ie, adultery, then the persons involved cannot marry someone else.
This is a problem, her happiness and her religion. I had a friend who went through a similar problem, but reverse. He wasn’t happy in his marriage, The religion does allow it (but the way preach about it different) , but depending on the church is another thing. My friend “brother” and “sister” the term they used for fellow peers of the church shun him for 6 weeks, no greeting no smile, nothing. he even sat in the back during mass depressed. But after the time, they acted like it never happen, and were happily merry people/friends (which I think is awful to treat someone, but its there religion so you cant do anything about it)
um divorce is through fornication not adultery. fornication is between a single man and a woman adultery is between a married man or the opposite. God is against divorce period. I would suggest what Paul states, leave but reconcile after God works on both of you.
The person who said that Jesus accept divorce is wrong, Jesus said fornication knowing it is impossible to fornicate between a husband a wife. God is against divorce period.
Jehovah’s Witnesses base their view of divorce on Jesus’ words at Matthew chapter 5, along with numerous other Sciptures.
“Moreover it was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ However, I say to YOU that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32; See also Malachi 2:14; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:3; Hebrews 13:4)
To my knowledge, the congregation will not take judiciary action against anyone for simply getting a divorce, because that divorce would not actually be recognized in Jehovah’s eyes as being valid, EXCEPT ON THE GROUNDS OF FORNICATION AND FORNICATION ALONE. However, that being the case, you cannot remarry or have *** if your divorce was not because of fornication.
If (hypothetically) a divorced Christian woman (divorced for reasons besides fornication) begins to date a new man, and then either has *** with him or marries him, THEN she has committed fornication and adultery, because the original marriage was STILL VALID in God’s eyes. If the original husband has at least one other witness to this fornication (observing the truck of another man outside the house of the woman for a night would be sufficient), then that original husband would be free to remarry without sinning, because his wifes fornication frees him from the marriage bond. (this situation has actually happened before)
“To the married people I give instructions, yet not I but the Lord, that a wife should not depart from her husband; but if she should actually depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED OR ELSE MAKE UP AGAIN WITH HER HUSBAND; and a husband should not leave his wife” (1Cor 7:10, 11 emphasis mine)
*extra note*
In the case of abuse, a wife is still allowed to separate from her husband, even though they would ‘legally’ stay married.
=Edit=
And yes, do ignore Inlakesh. As you can probably see, he directly contradicts what ACTUAL, REAL Witnesses are saying. He also claims that we encourage couples to divorce because of an unbelieving mate. That is a blatant lie.
“And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and yet he is agreeable to dwelling with her, let her not leave her husband” (1Cor 7:13)
As an “ex-one” I can tell you that provided that she is basing her decision one the fact of infidelity or abuse, there is no penalty.
If she divorces without adultery, PROVEN adultery, then she will be disfellowshipped.
Another way out for her however is to claim that she is being damaged spiritually by her husband due to neglect or outright abuse. In such a case she could legally separate but she could not officially divorce. If she takes this route she will not be able to remarry, and neither will he.
In my experience however, those that take advantage of this loop hole put their mate in a very bad situation – NO *** for either of them, and NO WAY OUT aside from reconciliation. JW elders are encouraged to reccommend this separation when one mate has become apostate. What ends up happening then is what anyone might expect, one of the mates eventually crumbles under the pressure and decides to either divorce officially and get remarried or commit fornication.
JW elders are encouraged to introduce separated mates to perspective brothers or susters who are strong in the truth, so that they will encourage the apostate to just move on down the line and get lost. Many heartbreaking judicial committees I have sat in on had this same scenario.
There is no “penalty” other than a failed marriage. It takes work, hard work to make a marriage work.
inlakesh073
“JW elders are encouraged to introduce separated mates to perspective brothers or susters who are strong in the truth, so that they will encourage the apostate to just move on down the line and get lost.”
What utter drivel. Do you really expect people to swallow this line?
For 20 years I’ve worked with divorced and single fathers. The “very unhappy in….marriage” is for failures who are willing to accept defeat rather than fight for what’s right. I hope you are not encouraging this. If you are, now you know why bad associations are discouraged.
You received proper answers from the JWs above, though you should ignore inlakesh073, he emailed about an answer he didn’t like.
The witnesses will recommend she talk to the elders, but I would like to suggest some books:
Stop Whining, Start Living
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
Ten Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationships
If she has kids,
Ten Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids Lives
There is no penalty for divorce alone.
The scriptures are clear – marriage is for life – it is permanent. Only when adultery is involved can the innocent mate divorce and remarry. And the scriptures indicate that mates shouldn’t separate unless one’s life – spiritual or physical – is at risk.
Unfortunately, a small minority of Witnesses sometimes divorce or separate on flimsy grounds. However, if no gross sin is committed, no discipline would be administered. Jehovah’s Witnesses have a free organization – as long as no gross sin is involved, someone can do pretty much whatever they want. But such ones would not be viewed as exemplary within the congregation, and wouldn’t qualify for certain priveliges of service within the congregation.
There is no penalty for divorce. The sin comes when one remarries when the divorce is obtained on grounds other than adultery. (Fornication)
(Matthew 5:32) 32 However, I say to YOU that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. . .
This is a question that should be asked only in the congregation and to an Elder. This is her place to ask, not yours. I’m not being mean or nasty, honest I’m not. But, its personal. I understand your concern as being her friend. Yet, this is not a place for such a matter, or seriousness. She should know to speak with an Elder on this matter.
Have a great day!
There is no penalty.
You can talk to her and tell her to go talk to her Elders.
They will help her, in more ways than one.
While true fornication, and abuse are acceptable reasons for divorce, according to Scripture.
Also, if her relationship with God is in danger
she is allowed room.
But she really must speak to her Elders; they will help her.
My spiritual brothers and sisters have already covered this issue.
Included Scripture as well.
My understanding is that there is not a penalty for getting a ’secular’ divorce. But the ’secular’ divorce is not valid in Jehovah’s eyes unless on grounds of fornication.
The upshot is that you can divorce, but not re-marry unless your ex begins a physical relationship with another.
They can divorce but she can’t remarry if it’s not for adultery. If he’s a Witness the same goes for him. Jehovah does not like a divorcing. The Scriptures are very clear on that. Adultery is the only reason for it.
She made a vow to her husband and Jehovah God to love, honor, obey, till death do us part, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. With Witnesses there are 3 in the marriage and it’s not 50/50. God is the 3rd person. If He was in her marriage this wouldn’t be an issue. I’m not saying He left, she is not letting Him in.
Do you know if she’s been to talk to the Elders? If not, she has to.
Marriage is a sacred promise a husband and wife make in front of God to be married through sickness and health and hard times, no matter what, unless of course one commits adultery which the bible says is the ONLY grounds for divorce, there are grounds for separation of course because Jehovah would not expect someone who was being physically abused, or not financially supported to stay with their husband if it was hurting them. However these are only grounds for separation not divorce, the reason for separation should be leaving that person in hopes that it will motivate them to change so you can come back to them and be happy with their actions. If that person does not change usually they cheat on you and then the divorce is acceptable to God. So depending on what the circumstances of your friend are she may be able to separate from her husband if it is really that bad, on the other hand if it is because she is just “tired” of him she should get help from her brothers and sisters in the congregation and pray to Jehovah he can help her cultivate a love if she truly wants to please God and her husband.
While it is true that the earthly organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses would not likely punish your friend with disfellowshipping, it would help if you said more about why she is unhappy with her husband & whether or not her husband is a Witness and whether or not she believes that her husband would become sexually involved with another woman if she divorced him.
Repercussions from the organization are not the most important thing to be considered here. Jehovah and his son Jesus have the ability to know what is in a person’s heart. They will judge her based on her motives and not purely on her actions. IF she feels certain that her husband will soon remarry or otherwise have an intimate relationship with another woman then she would be divorcing him believing that when he can’t have *** with her anymore he will surely have it with someone else and then she would be scripturally free to remarry if she wishes. Such an action would make her an accessory to his sinful conduct. [She herself may even be secretly involved with someone else now for all we know. Thus her possible motive.] A situation like this with selfish motives may not be perceived by the elders but it can not be hidden from Jehovah or his son and other heavenly appointed judges. It could result in her losing out on eternal life.
Simply being unhappy with one’s marriage is about as flimsy of an excuse as any to get a divorce. If her husband was abusing her, that would be different.
While we do answer to the congregation for our actions, we ultimately answer to Jehovah. Our concern should be with the penalty he may invoke and the scripture clearly says that He hates a divorcing. Malichi 2:16
Truly it is with good reason that the God of love hates a divorcing. Treacherous divorcing is sinning against God, against one’s mate, against the Christian congregation with which one is associated and against the individuals within it, as this action may well cause some to be stumbled. But how fine it is that Jehovah’s Witnesses in general are not persons inclined toward divorcing! They are known as a people who earnestly strive to apply God’s counsel regarding marriage. This makes them happier persons. And their strong, happy marriages are often noticed by others, drawing some to the truth.
Besides the fact that Jehovah hates a divorcee, that is penalty for sure, if there is no scriptural grounds (fornication or adultery) then she needs to do what is possible within her capability to continue with him. If she finds staying intolerable or impossible for the sake of her spirituality to remain she may decide to seperate but must stay single with the intentions of a possible reconciliation. This would have a hope of repair,with these intentions and prayer things could improve. This would give cause for rejoicing as satan attacks the family unit head on.
As regards to punishment, honestly when family units are in jepordy the last thing the elders want to do is look to punish someone, they would much rather try to help in any way to bridge the communication gap and allow them to work out the matters privately, unless asked, unless there is a principle involved.
Jehovah’s Witnesses recognize that Jesus Christ himself taught that her spouse’s adultery could allow a married Christian to divorce and remarry.
.. ..(Matthew 5:32) I [Jesus] say to you that everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication, makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a [unscripturally] divorced woman commits adultery.
Of course, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not encourage anyone to divorce, and an ostensible “Witness” who encourages divorce is wrong to do so.
.. ..(Malachi 2:16) For he has hated a divorcing,” Jehovah the God of Israel has said
Where permitted by secular authorities, the Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses tolerates legal separation and divorce in cases of abuse, nonsupport, and endangerment. These grounds for legal divorce seem to be acceptable to address extreme situations, but they do not permit either spouse to be Scripturally free to remarry.
.. ..(Matthew 19:9) Whoever divorces his wife [or husband], except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.
Even in the absence of any “extreme” situation, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not believe the Bible to teach that divorce on even trivial grounds is a “serious sin” such as could result in formal reproof or disfellowshipping. The congregation imposes no “penalty” even if an adherent’s divorce seems to be for trivial grounds; such an adherent may lose certain privileges, such as no longer qualifying to “pioneer”.
Yes if your a witness the only real grounds for divorce are when a partner is unfaithful otherwise you could be disfellowshipped. I know a jw who was disfellowshipped by a congregation in England because she divorced her husband who beat the crap out of her. The elders took her husbands side and told her she could not divorce him.. She was disfellowshipped but later reinstated by another congregation in Scotland. This is 100% true, i have met the sister in question. PS: Tears of oberon, that is a load of stupid old trot your spouting
The only reason where Jehovah says divorce is “OK” is if her hubby committed adultery. If he hasn’t then she has to remember that Jehovah hates divorce.
If she divorces him for any other reason except adultery ON HIS PART, then she is not free to remarry. Women have left their men before because of violence, willful non-support and if he is preventing her from serving God. They cannot marry or date as long as their ex-husband lives though.
By “penalty” I assume you mean will the congregation discipline her in some way? I know you don’t get disfellowshipped for divorce. But since I don’t what exactly her circumstances and reasons are (just doesn’t love him?), I can’t say anymore than that.
I have heard of people “falling out of love” with their spouses before, and I wonder at that, coz if you loved them enough to marry them in the first place….
But then again, I have never been married before, so what do I know?