How could I get the wife to divorce me without our kid having a bad impression of me?

Why are you trying to make your wife do the dirty work? Take some responsibility and do it yourself!

You sound like a very selfish person … you want a divorce but don’t want to be the bad guy. Are you comfortable with your wife appearing as the bad guy? If so, your kid should know the real you.

Yeah, your not going to have any control how your kid feels about it… more than likely if you show love and affection towards the wife or soon to be X wife it will only tick her off, if you show anger it will only tick her off, if you ignore her it will tick her off, if you cheat on her it will tick her off – She will be ticked off, and moms have lots of influence on kids so more than likely no matter what your kid will resent it in some fashion over time if you show love and affection towards the wife the kid will forgive you.

do what you have to do for the right reasons. an affair is totally the wrong thing to do. be fair man repsect that you and your wife loved each other. even though things have changed now. leave for the right reasons what ever they maybe and when your child is a teen ager they will see things more clearly !

best of luck man. just email my msn if you wanna chat.

if your child stays with him mommy he will always **** you until he understands, all he will see is his dad making him mommy cry and thats enough to make him **** you… she might for the rest of their (mom and kid) life together bad mouth you and he will intake those bad ideas of you although he may not know who you really are!
why arent you just mature enough to leave her and tell her you dont want to be with her and leave under good terms.

If you want out, do it yourself. Don’t make you wife be the bad person and have the child think bad about her.

how old is your child? if they are old enough, talk to them, you know, the usual, i love you, but i dont love your mom anymore, type thing, good luck tho….

If you want a divorce, you must do it for the right reason…If it’s just about an affair then that’s selfish and your kid will resent you for it.
Someone else said do it for the right reason, that is good advice.

No matter what, you will ALWAYS be the bad guy. Why??? Because you have a penis, that’s why.

From the looks of things, you are in an unhappy marriage and you want the wife to divorce you. No matter how you look at it, YOU need to call it quits. And forcing the wife to divorce you isn’t the answer. Just make the break dude. I did it… twice. Wasn’t easy but I did what had to be done.

How to have the kids think the best of you, even if you are the one who wants a divorce?
1. Don’t cheat. That is purely selfish and the kids will see it that way.
2. Don’t bad mouth their mother to them. If asked why the divorce, just say that you two grew apart, and it wasn’t any one’s fault.
3. Be man enough to deal with their understandable anger and frustrations in a caring and mature way. Don’t ever tell them “If that’s the way you feel, I am out of your life forever”.
4. Don’t overcompensate for the break up. Don’t try to buy their affection with extravagant gifts or over indulgence. They will see through that.
5. Stay in regular touch. Make sure if you say you’ll visit, you do. Really be there when they visit you too.
6. Let them know that you do love them, and that won’t change, just because Mum and you are no longer together.
7. Be courteous to your wife whenever you two have to be in the same place.
If you do all that, then once they are over the initial pain of their upheaval, you should go on to have a good relationship with them.

Some people interpreted your question that you wanted to make the wife look bad. Nowhere in your question do you state that. You just are concerned that you will come off as the bad guy, the one totally at fault, in your child’s eyes. I can certainly sympathize with you on that. No one wants to disappoint their child or to lose their respect, love and affection. Some of the people gave some good advice concerning what to do and what not to do. I think your child is smart enough to sense that something hasn’t been quite right, and probably knows that you have always put her first. Hopefully, your wife would have enough sense not to badmouth you to the kid and try to turn her against you. That would be so wrong! I think your kid would be able to see right through that, though, if your wife were to stoop that low. Your kid knows you’re a good dad and would not ever want to do anything that would hurt her.
Now, for your idea about the George Clooney type. First, bleah! Sorry, I just don’t find him appealing. If that is your wife’s type or whatever her type is, you could always try to arrange a “chance encounter” for them. What happens after that, is up to them. Hey, it doesn’t hurt to try. ; )

there aren’t any winners in a divorce but the kids suffer the most despite how you try to make them not suffer.

Unfortunately kids do get affected any which way you divorce. Only option is if the new girl ( or woman ! ) you are marrying is known to your kid or can establish excellent relation , rapport and good equations with him, the switch over can be smooth and with less hassles.

so you just don’t want to feel guilty about it..

Okay..so here is what you do.

You win the state lottery and you pay your wife half to leave. Then you can brib your kids with alot of great gifts, computers and so on to win them over!

You seem to want out of your marriage rather badly…However your main concern is your child. COMMENDABLE!!! Don’t think for one single minute your child isn’t picking up on the contention that is without a doubt ever present between you and your wife…Has she been unfaithful in anyway at any time? If so, have you been able to put that behind you, or are you building up more and more resentment as time passes? Only you know…If resentment is building, then its not a good environment on your child. She will know..kids aren’t as dumb as we sometimes think they are…especially as they get older. Two wrongs don’t make a right, if you want out of the marriage, and you have a solid reason for it…You won’t necessarily come out on the bad end with your child if do leave…You would be leaving your wife, not your child. There is no where that states a Dad can’t have custody. To wish more bad into it, for neat break is too much to ask for at this time. But, don’t resort to an affair yourself, that is not “you”…and your child would think your the dog. Take care. : )

I have to agree. There is nothing you could do to make her divorce you that would not affect your child’s perception of you. If she hasn’t divorced you that means she loves you and wants to be married. Anything you do to ruin that would cause your child to lose respect for you.
Why not divorce her, since its clear you do not want to be married, and just be honest with your child about the situation? He/she would have more respect for you for being honest then for what you’re considering doing here.